i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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