Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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