She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
