There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
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In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
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I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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