I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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