drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
