I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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