Sry I called you an 8
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
