not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
