they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
should my penis look like a turkey
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
