I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize