found the other keg... it's in the tree
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
