ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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