I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
