I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
