Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
that may or may not have been my penis.
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