Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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