I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
