and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
you would pick up someone in the library
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
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