I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
