they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
