was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
