she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
