can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
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