Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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