some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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