i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
