it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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