Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
