it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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