just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
