meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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