my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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