stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
It all started with a game of naked twister.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
