this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
