What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize