I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I'm sobbing to NWA
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize
