everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
