why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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