just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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