I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Randomize
