I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize
