I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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