I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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