dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
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