Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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