i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I need moral support for this bender
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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