while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
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Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
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it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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