Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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