We named our party play list daddy issues
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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