thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Randomize
