Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
