No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
