I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
its not stalking. its research.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
