Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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