I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize