Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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