there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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