I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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