dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
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