he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
